Absolute Dawg: December 2006

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Landon's Schedule

Want to know what Landon Lueck (RW Philly) is up to? Here is his schedule for January.

Jan 22 Northern Kentucky University
Hosting Talent Show with Robin - RW-San Diego Highland Heights, KY 8:00pm

Jan 24 Coastal Carolina University
Lecture on Diversity and Relationships with Shavonda - RW-Philadelphia Conway, SC 7:00pm

The Duel Recaps

Missed any episodes of The Duel? Get recaps here.

Real World Denver Recaps

Missed any episodes of The Real World Denver? Read recaps here.

Merry Christmas From Tyler

Tyler Duckworth (RW Key West) has posted the following:

Hey Kids. Merry Christmas. I hope you had a dysfunctional celebration of booze and family and bad gifts! For Christmas this year, my father gave me a card, with only one sentence, it went like this:

Dear Tyler,
Michelle Kwan is a republican.
Love,
Dad

Can you think of anything more terrible? My Michelle, a republican?! I almost died. And, the sad part is, it's true. She is. She's been in bed with those bastards for years, though I've turned a blind eye. So, my Christmas was ruined, by the truth, which ultimately, isn't THAT bad.

Also for Christmas, I was constipated for two days. Yes, two days. And, to make matters worse, I'd eaten Chipotle right before, meaning that I had a chipotle burrito stuck in me for, oh about, 52 hours. Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting.

So, I got constipation for Christmas. What did you get?

Dan's Christmas Presents

Click here to find out what same gifts Dan Renzi (RW Miami) received over and over again from family members.

What Happened In Vegas

What happened when Mike "The Miz" went to Vegas? Click here to find out about his wild time.

Holidays to the Test

Lori Trespicio (RW B2NY) has posted the following:

I'm currently in a rented house in Maine with Aspen and his friends to ring in the new year. I've been completely indulging in what I promised would be my last couple days of eating until the seams of my oversized sweatshirt burst. Unfortunately, this whole plan to be healthy in the new year and binge for the remainder of 2006 was made many weeks ago, and therefore, I've been stuffing my face in the name of New-Years-Resolution for so long that my new jeans, which are part elastic, are now uncomfortable.

Anyway, Christmas was great. Fantastic, actually. A few of the gifts included a dehydrator to make my own beef jerky, a rice cooker, and a top of the line wok. So, in case I wasn't sure, I’m now officially Asian.

My gift exchange with Aspen turned out to be really awesome. There is a lot of pressure on that first Christmas (assuming there may be more together in the future, but who knows, right? No offense, baby.) There is even more pressure when you've been together for 3 months. You already know you're crazy about each other, but how well do you actually know them? At first, every single day together is filled with absorbing new information. Every single name is a who's-that. Every scar is a where-did-you-get-that. It's a string of newness that you do your best to absorb, something he is better at than me. Too often have his shoulders dropped as he said, "Baby, I told you this already." Too often have I had to say, "Okay, and which friend is that again? The one with the sister who goes to UVA or the one who just got engaged?" Anyway, as you wrap around to 3 months, everything is still new, but there is an illusion of really knowing the person, most likely more than you actually do. You've picked up on some patterns. He knows my make-up routine. I know he'll probably refer to me as a "penis-nozzle" if I say something he considers to be obvious. But the test is the Christmas gifts. Does he buy me something that he thinks all girls will like or is it specific to me? Does he pay attention to detail? Did he listen to subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle clues? And what if he gets me something I hate? Does that say something? Do you analyze it? Does he know me well enough to read my body language if I do hate it and say that I love it? The scariest part - what if he hates the gifts I got him? What if he doesn't get the funny gifts? What if he thought he was going to get more? What if, what if, what if?

I won't tell you what we got each other, but we were both extremely happy and probably both more impressed than we even thought we'd be. And truth be told (you know, I don't think I've ever used that phrase ever), I wasn't really THAT worried about either of our gifts. Sure, those thoughts typed above crossed my mind, but I never broke a sweat. Well, maybe we both did when it was less than a week before Christmas and neither of us had gotten each other anything or had even come up with ideas. Again, it all worked out, so no worries.

Anyway, now we're in Maine. I've never been here before, but I have to say that I would rather come in summer and eat lobster at an outdoor restaurant. Actually, it's f*cking adorable where we are. It's been lightly snowing all day. There's a fire always going (gas, not wood-burning, but it still rocks). When there is nothing to do, one usually eats and drinks. My only concern is getting tired. Daytime drinking is always exhausting for me.

I'll let you know how it goes, if there's anything to report.

Theo's Comedy Act

Want to see Theo Von's (RR Maximum Velocity) comedy act? Here is the info for his January gigs:

01/03/2007 07:00 PM ? Shreveport Funny Bone
450 Clyde Fant Pkwy Suite D
Shreveport, LA 71101

01/04/2007 07:00 PM ? Shreveport Funny Bone
450 Clyde Fant Pkwy Suite D
Shreveport, LA 71101

01/05/2007 07:00 PM ? Shreveport Funny Bone
450 Clyde Fant Pkwy Suite D
Shreveport, LA 71101 [

01/06/2007 07:00 PM ? Shreveport Funny Bone
450 Clyde Fant Pkwy Suite D
Shreveport, LA 71101

01/10/2007 07:00 PM ? Reno Funny Bone- Sands Regency Casino
345 N. Arlington
Reno, NV 89501

01/11/2007 07:00 PM ? Reno Funny Bone- Sands Regency Casino
345 N. Arlington
Reno, NV 89501 [

01/12/2007 07:00 PM ? Reno Funny Bone- Sands Regency Casino
345 N. Arlington
Reno, NV 89501

01/13/2007 07:00 PM ? Reno Funny Bone- Sands Regency Casino
345 N. Arlington
Reno, NV 89501

01/14/2007 07:00 PM ? Reno Funny Bone- Sands Regency Casino
345 N. Arlington
Reno, NV 89501

01/24/2007 08:00 PM ? Cap City Comedy Club
Austin, TX

01/25/2007 08:00 PM ? Cap City Comedy Club
Austin, TX

01/26/2007 08:00 PM ? Cap City Comedy Club
Austin, TX

01/27/2007 08:00 PM ? Cap City Comedy Club
Austin, TX

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

All New in 2007!!

The brand new Absolute Dawg site will launch in 2007.

The New Link is [ www.thenewabsolutedawg.blogspot.com ]

Myspace?

MYSPACE RECRUITING:

Real World Casting Directors are giving out VIP passes on Myspace! If
we contact you through Myspace, we'll email you a printable VIP pass to
one of our casting calls.

www.bunim-murray.com

Monday, December 25, 2006

Happy Holidays

Absolute Dawg would like to wish you all a wonderful Holiday season!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Just a Little Pitchy

Tyler Duckworth (RW Key West) has posted the following:

So, last night was a very special night. Well, actually, that is a bold-faced lie. Two nights ago was a very special night, I've just been extremely busy since then. In any event, a friend of mine invited me to a movie, and being the frugal old bastard I am, I said, "A free movie, count me in!"

Therefore, after swim practice, I washed all the chlorine off and headed over to Beverly Hills to meet my friend. As him and I drove up to the theater, I noticed a very large red-carpet. Then, it hit me. This wasn't just a free ticket to see the hit new Paramount feature "Dreamgirls" this was actually the L.A. premiere! Let's just say it was a good thing I was wearing a sassy signature baby-blue shirt and a hip, studded white belt. As we parked, I noticed everyone there wearing dark suits, hip dark-rimmed glasses, hot blonde babes and other assorted accessories.

There was a line wrapped around the building and apparently that was just for will-call. Now, my friend is a rather powerful person in the industry and despite this, we were going to be forced to wait in line with the rest of the group. That was until we saw this high-powered publicist who literally swept us up and walked us in. Needless to say, there were Oscar winners waiting in that line even. I felt very fortunate.

As we're walking in the Wilshire theater I had my first "star" sighting of the evening. Well, if you can call it that. I saw academy award winning actress, Shirley McClaine. And though I love her acting, and crazy psychic rantings, her head is HUGE! She looked like a bulldog; I couldn't stop staring. Then I saw "Cabaret" star Joel Grey. At this point, I'm thinking to myself, what is with all these old Hollywood peeps. I want a clearly drunk Lindsay Lohan falling all around the red-carpet, or shit, I'd even take Nicole Richie drunk driving into all the paparazzi! Now THAT would be a story to write home to.

Blah blah blah, when you go to a movie premiere, you get tons of free popcorn. Is that all? I know, right. I was thinking, as I was walking in, this is going to be amazing, all the free concessions a girl could dream of. I imagined that when I walked in, the concession counter would be open and they'd allow you to fill up those damned six dollar sodas as many times as you wanted. And Nestle's BunchaCrunch? "Two please, sir!"

They did have free wine, both white and red, which, I'll admit, was nice. So, I grabbed two and made my way around the lobby. As I slammed the wine down and reached for another, I saw someone, yes, it was the star I'd been looking for the whole time, none other than McSteamy and Doogie Howser M.D. star, Neil Patrick Harris. So, I immediately positioned my way over near them. I stood there trying to look cute, giving my best "Paris Hilton Hip" pose, attempting to elongate my upper trunk area.
Then, all of a sudden, Doogie looks at me and says, "Hey, Tyler. You crack me up!" I just about died! Doogie knows me! Then, it gets better. McSteamy, who had been talking to Doogie, says, mind you in a deep, husky, Mcsteamy voice, "You are pretty funny." I melted right there! We all talked for a bit and they were great, very gracious, etc.

Here is where the real fun started. My friend and I took our seats and all around us were really big stars. I felt extremely lucky to be there. Just as I was getting comfortable, guess who sits down next to me- Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson. For those of you who are not in the know, Jennifer Hudson (who will win an Oscar for this) was in American Idol season three.

I attempted to play coy with Paula, but my excitement simply could not be bridled. My friend knew Paula from a project they'd worked on years ago and were chatting. I turned to Paula and said, "Paula, I'm sure you don't recognize me, but I was in the Mighty Ducks as a child, and you were beyond kind to all of us on the set. Thank you so much for being so kind."

Paula was pleased as punch. She grabbed my hand, rather awkwardly in fact, and slurred some words. Painkillers and cheap white wine result in one-messed up pop-princess. Regardless, her and Randy were hilarious, cute and very nice. Though, I will add, Paula did try and pawn her stylist off on me. "Tyler, he's really cute, isn't he? Well, let me tell you, he's an EXCELLENT stylist. Best in the business."

I thought to myself, well, thanks Paula, but I'm not really hunting for one these days. I don't have millions of dollars to throw around. But, probably the best part of the night was not even watching the movie, but watching Paula chow down on her popcorn. She didn't even stop to inhale. Just went to town! Even better was when Jennifer Hudson hit the screen. While everyone else in the room cheered, Paula sort of babbled something to herself, dropped some popcorn and raised her fist in the air. I'm still not sure what it all meant, however, I just about died laughing.
Immediately before the movie started, the big movie stars started pouring in. As Jaime Foxx and his entourage meandered through the people in the aisles, he stopped and walked over to my friend and I. Apparently, my friend and him are friends. Ahhhhh Jaime Foxx! I stood up to shake his hand, and was surprised that I was actually taller than him. Not that I necessarily deserve an award for it, but, still, it's always fun to compare yourself to a movie star in height. Next on the list, Tom Cruise.

All in all, the night was incredible. I'd never been to a premiere like this and I'm not sure if I'll ever go to another one. Regardless of all the celebrities, it was incredible watching a movie like Dreamgirls with such an enthusiastic crowd. It's my personal belief that black people are more fun to watch movies with. Afro-Caribbean American culture celebrates song and dance much more than white people. Additionally, they see entertainment as an interactive experience.

For instance, when I see a horror movie, I'll always go to this specific theater in Boston where there is a large black population. If the female lead in the movie walks into an obviously dangerous house, members of the audience will often yell, "Dumb bitch! Wa'tch you think'in girl. He's gonna murder yo' ass!"

And you know what, the audience is right! Now, if I'm going to sit and watch The Constant Gardener, I'll see it at a stuffy art-house theater. However, this was Dreamgirls. I wanted the audience participation. Four standing ovations later, and a nice buzz, we left the movie. What did I think of it? Well, see it for yourself is all I have to say. OUTSTANDING!

All in all, it was a good night. Popped pills with Paula, traded war stories with Doogie and McSteamy, and got tipsy for free. Now, I think I'm ready for my close up, Mr. Demille.

A Little Bit of Fun Revenge & Random Nonsense

Katie Doyle (RR The Quest) has posted the following:

I am in a stupid good mood right now. Just easily amused and I must tell you why. First of all, let me say I KNOW revenge is childish and immature. The other thing is that I just don't fucking care. Sometimes it's just necessary. Now let me tell you a little story.

One of my girlfriend's in LA was/is dating an asshole. A complete fuck bag. Every time she would call me upset about what a prick he is, I would tell her to dump him. I don't deal with assholes. Anymore, anyway. So he screams at her, hangs out with his girl neighbor in BED that he used to fuck. My friend would go to his house and find them in bed together watching TV. Now, I have laid in a bed with countless guy friends innocently watching TV, BUT not if they have a girlfriend. I don't think I have ever dated a guy with a super close girl friend. I am usually the girl FRIEND to my guy friends, but I am respectful to their actual girlfriends and wouldn't go cuddle up in their beds to watch TV. That's just not cool. I am always really friendly to their girlfriends so they never have to think I am a threat or that I have any interest in their boyfriends. I shop with Blair's girlfriends and send Adam's embarrassing pictures of him back in the day. Most of my guy friends don't really date. Or if they do, it never lasts longer than a week.

Anyway, so this asshole guy that is dating my friend treats her like shit. Says mean things, yells at her and is just a prick. So she found out he has been sending some girl messages on his Myspace to meet up and that he will call her and all these other things. She knows his password, and suspected him fucking around, so she looked. Yes, some of us chicks are a bit nutty. Come on, ladies. We have all done it at least once- checked their email, or did a little snooping. It's not right, I know. But if I think you're fucking around on me, I will be a little investigator. I ALWAYS find out. Call me a sneaky bitch, whatever. But this sneaky bitch will catch you and she will dump your sorry ass.

Mini Story: (I looked through some receipts from an ex and noticed he went to a nice sushi restaurant. He spent $100. Hmmm, that's not eating alone. That's dinner and a couple drinks, with someone. Chances are he isn't buying his buddy dinner. Then I looked at the date. And noticed that it was only a few days before when he was "working late" and went "straight home" afterwards. Yea, my ass. Then I looked at his cell phone call log and noticed he liked to call his ex girlfriend an awful lot. Turns out his ex girlfriend thought I was his "best friend" that dates his roommate. Oh, and she was never his actual EX. Found out later he also made out with one of my "friends" in a bathroom. Fucked my friend's girlfriend, too. Kissed a couple girls while on vacation with me, when I wasn't around. I ended that shit.) Somehow, we are still friends. I did get him back, though. You fuck with me, I fuck with you.

So that's why us bitches snoop. You want to be sneaky, so will we. Now at this point in my life, if I suspect things and don't feel I trust a guy, I just won't date him. That's when you know it's over. So I don't try to be snoopy so much anymore, but I think all of us chicks at one point have done it. Don't lie. Usually if you're looking, you will find something. But if you get to a point where you don't trust them, the relationship is already over.

So she went under his account. And found all these messages from some girl he was corresponding with. Not friendly 'Hi, how are you's?' but plans to go out on dates and calling each other. She really likes this guy and was upset for obvious reasons. When she told me, I was pleading with her to dump him. Why would anyone want to be with a guy like that? I have been telling her to dump him for awhile cause he sucks ass. I spent a good time explaining to her why she didn't need that, he isn't even hot, and she can do better. Then I told her to dump him, but have a little revenge first. Just for fun.

So I encouraged her to fuck with his Myspace page. She does have his password after all. But make it subtle enough that he won't even notice when he signs on. So in his "general" section I told her to put 'I have chronic bad breath, and a small penis but whatever. I am attracted to animals and have to imagine penguins to get off. I have severe acne on my ass and I fart in my sleep.'

Then I told her to change his height to 5 feet tall. Change his sexual orientation to gay and say he has children and makes no money. His favorite shows are Martha Stewart and Rachel Ray. Lets see how much Myspace action that fucker will get from girls now.

Either way, his new little Myspace girlfriend is likely to re-read his page. She will see that, and probably assume he didn't write it. But he will have to explain someone did. And presumably a girl he fucked over. If that's not a red flag for a chick, I don't know what is. If I saw that and he explained some "crazy ex girlfriend" did it, I would assume she is angry, and probably for a good reason.

Again, we both realize it wasn't very nice to do. But neither is fucking around on my friend or treating her like that. I looked at his page and laughed at the clueless asshole. Being vindictive is immature, I know. I am old enough to know right from wrong, but sometimes being an immature bitch just makes you feel better. And she said she does feel better. At first she was worried he would know she had his password. I say who gives a shit at this point. I would be like, "Yep, I sure did go under your account, and I don't even feel bad. In fact, I enjoyed myself greatly. Thanks for the amusement." hehe

I just told Derrick what we did and he says girls are evil. I had to remind him some girls sit in their room and cry about a boy and others like me seek a little revenge, smile and move the fuck on. I don't date. I hate dating. Not that I won't, cause I do want to be married one day. I am aware a random guy won't come up to me and say "Hello, would you like to be my wife?" To which I would reply, "Why, yes I would." Kidding. But dating is hard, and it gets harder as you get older. And it's just fucking impossible in LA.

Right before I moved, I met a guy, Scott. When we went out, I was so dead honest because I knew I was moving and had nothing to lose. I wondered what it would be like if you actually said all the negative things about you first. Most people on dates are on their best behavior trying to impress them and saying what they think the other person wants to hear. "No, I never get jealous. I love football. Guys nights are important. I am not the clingy type." What ever. So I was just honest. I do sometimes get jealous. I don't know shit about sports and if you try to explain I will pretend to listen but I won't be. Guy nights are important, but I like to go also. But I am very independent. Chances are I might even ditch you to hang out with my guys.

I decided I really liked being crazy honest. It's almost more fun. I said I was moving and had nothing to hide. I talked about everything inappropriate, too. But good ole Scott stuck around till the day I moved. I actually liked him, too, but when you move, you move. We still talk and he is a good guy. But aren't they all the first 2 weeks? haha But for the most part, dating is a waste of time. I would rather be friends with someone first or meet someone through a friend. Most of the guys I have dated, I met through a friend. I swear Frank has the hottest friends.

Tonight, we ordered in some good ass food and my brother, Uncle Mike and Steph are watching the Bears game. I came into my room, closed the door to talk on the phone to a friend. I hear my brother yell for me, so I yell back "What?!" And he yells, "Grab me and Mike a couple of beers!" haha Um, no. I am in a room with the door shut and he is in the living room. So a little bit later, I yell for him. And he says "What?" and I yell, "Get me some more water!" hehehehehe I didn't get it. Still thirsty.

I think about my new apartment all day. I have decorated it in my head 8,474 times. I tell random strangers about it that I meet. I even explain to them knowing they don't give a fuck how I want to decorate it. I went to dinner with my friend, Sully, Friday night and explained in detail how I was going to paint one of the walls a rustic burgundy color and have tons of Moroccan pillows on my bed. I have a kick ass Moroccan comforter that Derrick got as a gift from someone, and I manipulated him into giving it to me. I told him how feminine it was and how he would look silly with it on his bed. It was brand new. And expensive as hell, too. And I love it. I don't even like people to sit on the mother fucker. Anyway, so I explained to Sully how pretty fake trees can look and tons of candles. He was so bored, but guys let me tell you: this is how I feel when you want to talk to me about the play from the game. ATTN: Derrick. haha As I am trying to learn about football, I am actually watching the game. Half assed. And I almost thought I was cool cause I was on the phone with Derrick and the Bears scored a touchdown. And I yelled "Yea! The Bears got a home run!" And he goes "A touchdown, Kate." I actually knew that. I really did. I just fucked up.

Chicago is a sports town. Big time, so it's a little important to try to know a bit about sports. I am slowly learning. My brother and his girlfriend are sports nuts. My brother went to the Bears game last week (he was so excited he was on TV) and a Bulls game this week. They bought my niece and nephew Chicago Bears hats and stuff. They watch the game in Bears gear. They yell, cheer and stand up clapping and shit. My Dad is the same way. My Mom is like me. Growing up on Sundays, we would shop and my Dad and brothers watched the game. My Dad is awesome. I talked to him yesterday and he talked sports with me for 15 minutes. I didn't know who any of the people are or what the hell any of it meant. But it sure makes him happy to talk about it. haha

So us ladies might bitch about guys in general. But they are sure nice to have around. They are handy and kill bugs and will carry you in the snow so you don't get your feet wet. Just don't piss us off. :)

Oh and if you want to laugh, I have something for you. I talked to Kina today and she was telling me how much her Grandma loves Derrick. She thinks he is so sweet and has a big heart. She joked Grandma was a groupie. haha But the funny part is this: she said that if Derrick played his cards right, he could be President. HAHAHAHAHHAA Derrick for President?? That's fucking hysterical. Just picture the asshole's campaign. "I will fucking fight for this fucking country. I fucking love America, dude." Me and her had a good laugh about it. I gotta meet her Grandma. Too damn funny.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Headline News

Tyler Duckworth (RW Key West) has posted the following:

So, I'm not necessarily into the whole celebrity worship thing that's going on today in society. However, that doesn't mean I can't actively appreciate the madness of it. On Yahoo! news, the headline below read:

Reichen and Lance Bass reportedly split

The Hyperlink led to the article below. Now, read this headline, and the subsequent article. The whole time remind yourself that we are fighting two wars, the economy is slipping into recession and this is considered "BREAKING NEWS". Hey Alanis, now this is what you call irony.

NEW YORK - Lance Bass and his boyfriend, Reichen Lehmkuhl, have called it quits, People magazine reported on its Web site Monday.
ADVERTISEMENT

Bass, who was part of the boy band 'N Sync, revealed earlier this year that he is gay and was in a relationship with Lehmkuhl, a former Air Force captain and winner of season four of CBS' "Amazing Race."

The 27-year-old singer told People in July that he didn't disclose his sexuality earlier because he didn't want to affect 'N Sync's popularity.

"The thing is, I'm not ashamed - that's the one thing I want to say," Bass told the magazine. "I don't think it's wrong, I'm not devastated going through this. I'm more liberated and happy than I've been my whole life."

The AP was attempting Monday to locate representatives for Bass and Lehmkuhl. Bass had been represented by publicist Ken Sunshine when he made his announcement in July that he is gay, but a representative of the firm said it no longer represents the singer.

'N Sync, known for a string of hits including "Bye Bye Bye" and "It's Gonna Be Me," went on hiatus in 2002. Bass has also made headlines for undertaking astronaut training and failing to raise money for a trip into space.

Lehmkuhl, 32, has said he admired Bass' decision to disclose his sexuality. Lehmkuhl has a new book, "Here's What We'll Say," which recounts his time keeping his sexual orientation a secret from Air Force colleagues.

The Homeless Club

Here's another post from Tyler Duckworth (RW Key West):

As we all know, I love to sit at Starbucks and be a Hipster. Sit on my Powerbook and type away. What I'm actually typing is unimportant, remember, this is LA. Image is everything, right? Obviously not kids. That's the lesson of today!

Sarcasm aside, I really was sitting in Starbucks, sipping a Chai Latte and watching something quite extraordinary. Now, since I've been in LA I've become accustomed to groups of actors sitting around drinking coffee, talking about potential scripts, holding each other's egos above water. And that's fine. Entertaining usually, watching the big personalities compete for who is the biggest out-of-work actor at the table.

Not in Santa Monica. Things swing a bit different here. I came here today to run some errands, check out the beach, and enjoy a different part of LA. While in Starbucks, sipping away, typing away, I noticed something strange. These seemingly homeless people all sitting around. I immediately thought to myself, "Tyler, they aren't homeless. How else would they afford their Starbucks?! I can barely afford Starbucks everyday, let alone homeless people." (and though I'm being hyperbolic, I can afford Starbucks, I have to insert qualifiers like this as my mom doesn't believe my stories in the blogs)

In any event, as I sat there typing work up, I noticed that there were actually a ton of homeless people all around the coffee shop congregating as if they were getting ready for a big meeting. These weren't the homeless people that simply stare off into space, or mutter inaudible words. No, these were articulate, passionate homeless people. Sitting in the large leather chairs provided by Starbucks, these homeless people sat and strategized about which corners were best for panhandling while others bemoaned the fact that the guy from "Wings" is a cheap bastard because he wouldn't give him any change.

"I need 10 more bucks. I won't be able to get my whore for the week!" said the one homeless guy who had a rattail hair-do and a dirty yellow wife-beater on.

Yes, that is exactly what he said. Which bothers me on a number of levels, mainly this: Don't whores have standards? Are real-life whores that hard up for cash that they'll even sleep with homeless men? I wasn't able to enjoy the rest of my latte as the picture of some meth'ed-out whore bouncing on top of the aforementioned homeless man ran repeatedly through my head. Eww.

Also of interest is the fact that these ostensibly insane homeless people are well organized, too! They pool their money together and divide it amongst themselves, then buy whores apparently. I wonder what other assorted items these kids spend their money on. And, if I really think about it, if I didn't have to pay rent, I wonder what ostentatious items I might buy. Certainly not a whore, especially after what I learned about today. No, I'd probably buy a balance beam for the backyard, or better yet, machine powered stilts.

As I was packing up to leave my comfortable hipster environment, the silent homeless man started to talk. Though, he didn't talk like a normal person. Absolutely not, he spoke like a muppet. Remember Beaker? His mouth opened near the top muttering words that no matter what, sounded like the word, "Nicorette". Immediately I asked myself, what does this guys "O" face look like when he's going down with the first guy's whore?

Then I realize there are probably more important questions I could be asking, and I get the hell out of this haven for homeless hijinks. When I tell people Hollywood isn't that bad, I'm starting to believe myself; as bad as things get there, at least homeless people aren't plotting to take over the world!

Imposter

Jillian (RR X-treme) does not have a Myspace music page. Someone out there is pretending to be her with a music page. The only website that she has is here. So, don't be fooled by imposters!

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Tonight's Real World

Here is a bit of what's going to go down tonight:

Now that we've seen the hook-ups in the new house, it's time for the fights! After another drunken night out on the town, Davis sneaks back to the house to call his boyfriend and leaves Stephen behind causing Tyrie to go nuts! After a VERY heated conversation, Davis, out of nowhere throws out the N-word and says he's leaving the house! You know this can't be good! Fearing for his safety, Davis is escorted from the house. The next day, Davis comes back to the house and announces that he's leaving the house AND will be seeking treatment for his alcohol abuse - crazy!

Source

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

New Apartment, Eric in Town, & Snowballs

Katie Doyle (RR The Quest) has posted the following:

Yea!!! So I finally got my new apartment! Actually, it's a condo. Eric came into town this weekend specifically for us to hunt for an apartment. We decided to go with an apartment finder and explained exactly what we wanted. It's so damn nice, I can't wait to move in. It's a 3 bedroom, brand new, never been lived in apartment in the Bucktown area. Hardwood floors throughout, granite counter tops, stainless steel appliances. 2 patios, washer dryer in unit and a fireplace. Now get this- the master bedroom is huge (and mine) but the bathroom is amazing! Oval jacuzzi tub, with a separate glass shower with a bench in it. 2 sinks. I love the small details of the light fixtures. I was really nervous when we looked at it because 2 other people were in there looking at it, too. And the girls were gushing about how much they loved it. Eric and I kept quiet and tried not to act impressed, so that we weren't obvious that we were going to race to the leasing office to get the apartment. But as soon as they left, I was like screaming how this was the apartment for us and I wanted to sign the papers right then. The other people wanted it also, but me and Eric got to the office first and filled out the paper work. hehehe We move in on Jan. 1, because they still have to install some of the stuff. And in my room, I have my own private patio. :)

I have been decorating it in my head, and will be SO happy to get my stuff out of storage. I have been staying with my brother and his girlfriend living out of my suitcase. I want my own bed back and my independence. It really is a beautiful place. It's going to be me, Eric, and his friend, Chris. We are all going to take classes at Second City together, too. Eric and Chris are both big boys and then there is little me. I can carry Eric, though. I am serious. I can pick him up and even walk around. It looks really weird. I don't know why I have this obsession with picking up my guy friends. I carry Derrick and Jed, too. It's my stupid human trick and I become very proud of myself. I can pick up some of the biggest fuckers, too and then everyone becomes impressed and I feel cool. So living with 2 hefty sons of bitches will be fun. I have been warned that when Chris is drunk, he will eat a frozen pizza. Still frozen. haha

Oh, has anyone seen my new favorite show My Boys on TBS? I love that show!! It's about a girl who is friends with all boys, single, and living in Chicago. I love shows that I can relate to. I haven't met too many people but when I do go out, it's with guys. It's true that I get along with them much easier and I find girls to be catty. For example, I am at a bar yesterday. Minding my own business only for a ridiculous drunk girl to scream "Real World and Road Rules" comments at the top of her lungs. I ignore her. This goes on for a good couple hours. She then accuses me of not being friendly and that I must think I am too cool. Fine, whatever. I don't care. But finally she goes "you're a slut". Whoa. First of all, there is no evidence of that to her. She does not know me or anything about me. All she knows is what she has seen on TV. So that being said, I have NEVER even kissed a guy on camera. Ever. There is not any footage of me kissing, or hooking up with anyone on any show I have ever done. I realize she is trying to get a reaction out of me. And I tried to bite my tongue, but no fucking way are you going to insult me and not expect a response. So I told her if she ever speaks that way to me again, I will smash a bottle over her face. Then we insult each other and I throw a beer at her and have her kicked out. The whole bar saw her trying to provoke me, so when she got kicked out with beer soaked hair the whole bar clapped. Stupid bitch. All I was trying to do was eat a damn chicken sandwich. I will say, most people are nice but every once in a while someone wants to "put you in your place." That just sucks. Luckily, this weekend was pretty good because people LOVE Eric. And that big fucker stands out anyway, but on the street people were yelling from their cars, "Eric! You rock!" Not fair. I get called a slut and he is told he rocks. I am always nice to anyone who comes up to me, but my name is not "MTV chick" and it's not "Real World or Road Rules." Okay, I will stop whining about it and doing the whole "poor me" but that shit sucks. I am in a new city and wanting to make friends, not throw glasses of beer at people.

I was so damn excited for Eric to come into town, though. He is just so fun, but he sure likes to piss me off for his amusement. He is always making up some lie to get me all riled up and then right when I start to get mad, he laughs his ass off and says in his hillbilly accent, "Aw, I am just kiddin'." Yea. Hysterical. He told our leasing agent, "Watch me piss her off for fun." Then he did. I tell him he is an asshole and then he laughs and I smile and say, "Um yea, we will make great roommates." haha

But eventually he will make me laugh and I make up lies about him, too. So I was sitting in the living room on my laptop fucking around on here, and I get up to go to the bathroom. I come back, and see that I am on Derrick's profile. I never went on Derrick's profile. So I scroll down to find a lovely comment left by "me" on his page. It was how I was in love with him and wanted his babies or some shit. Thanks, Eric. Derrick knows I would never write that.

So excited that Derrick gets back here on the 20th of December. Then Adriana and Amber!! Then Eric and Chris move out here Jan. 1. I actually will be out of town that day because I have an appearance on New Year's with Derrick in North Carolina. But our new landlord said she might be able to give us the keys a little earlier. So that would be cool, move some stuff in early. So at least I will have some friends!!!! A couple of my friends will be out here visiting this month, so I am happy about that for sure.

That's the main thing I miss. That is why I haven't really written any blogs. But I can guarantee I will have some blogs when me and Eric and Chris live together. Can you imagine me dating and bringing a guy back to my apartment and him meeting my giant roommates, Dumb and Dumber? hahaha I think I might need to hide some food, too.

But I do love Chicago. Even the snow. When it first snowed, I was so damn excited until Eric threw snowballs at me. That wasn't fun. And neither was stepping into what appeared to be an inch of snow, but instead was a foot. I like to people watch on the train. I wonder where they are going and where they came from. Everyone looks bored as piss on the train. They listen to Ipods or stare at the floor.

On Saturday, my brother and his girlfriend had a dinner party for family and friends. It was a good time. Like another mini Thanksgiving. Eric and my brother got along really well. And this is hysterical!!!! So some guy dressed as Eric for Halloween and he showed us the pictures. Too damn funny. The guy had a red wig with a bandana in his hair and a pillow around his waist. On the back of his shirt it said "Fat Guy on MTV." hahahahhahaha The pictures are super funny. Eric was making jokes about it, too and I was pretty darned amused.

Okay, I am off to bed soon. I am pretty tired from the weekend and want to get some rest. Hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving!

Peace out mo fucka's.

Absolute Dawg